Growing pains

July 3, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 26 2013

Are athletes helping teammates by pointing fingers?

By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

On Sunday, March 17, the Buffalo Sabres benched 26-year-old Patrick Kaleta after he served his five-game suspension. Irritated about being a healthy scratch and his team’s under achievement, Kaleta spoke with the media before the game against the Washington Capitals.

“They don’t need me right now, I guess. I’ve been pissed off watching for the past couple weeks,” said Kaleta. “No matter if you’re a fan or a player, you guys know what’s going on. You should be pissed off. You should play with a little piss and vinegar. You shouldn’t be happy. We’re not in position we want to be in. We have to work harder, come in, and do something about it.”

Ryan Miller, Buffalo’s goaltender, was not pleased by his teammate’s comments after losing 5–3. “That’s just drama and he needs to just grow up,” said Miller. “He doesn’t have to go to you guys and say that stuff. I’m addressing it now and I’ll go and talk to him about it. There’s no reason to say that.”

Dressing room conflicts are a common aspect of sports. But are peer disciplines helpful for team and player development? Miller is a well-respected leader, but when it comes down to it, he has no great superiority over Kaleta. They might as well be two co-workers in an office firm bickering over sales. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Although Kaleta should have sucked up his pride when benched, Miller should also know his role, which is to stop pucks, not authorize his teammates’ comments.

Relocation is an easier solution to resolution. If you’re not a good teammate, you’re a good opponent. Kaleta’s negative comments toward his teammates might have just bought him a trip out of Buffalo, but with the way things are looking, that might be exactly what he wanted.

The game is full of selfish players, but their dirty laundry doesn’t need to be aired out for the public to see. We don’t notice the problems occurring behind the scenes of our favourite restaurants, our local market, or even our classrooms. Not everyone reacts obediently to judgment and helpful criticism; sometimes those guiding actions can cause a defiant reaction.

On the same night as Miller and Kaleta’s war of words, Nashville Predators’ forward Sergei Kostitsyn lost control of a puck during a game against the Edmonton Oilers. The play caused an odd man rush heading the opposite direction, and instead of chasing after the opposition, Kostitsyn opted for a line change. The Nashville bench was livid with his indolence and he knew it. “I made a mistake. I went to change, I should have back-checked, but didn’t see the second guy was coming there,” said Kostitsyn after the 3–2 loss. “Even if it was a one-on-one, I should go back, it doesn’t matter if I was tired. I should have gone back and pressured him from behind.”

Hockey is a team sport, and it requires players to take onus of their own actions, whether it is on or off the ice. It might seem like a good strategy to point the finger and command someone to do better, but pointing out errors is counterproductive. Growth comes from communication and trust, and no team will fully develop by playing the blame game.

Entertainment references to stay, or E.T. phone home?

July 3, 2013July 3, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 26 2013

communication crutch

By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

The wonderful world of entertainment has created a fictional place we can all live in. Sadly though, the matrix of our lives takes place not with Neo, but in the real world.

It might seem contradictory arguing against movie and television references by using one myself, but I just wanted to give an example of their effectiveness—or lack thereof. A big mistake is assuming everybody has the same taste and entertainment memory as you do. Since Seinfeld ended and The Simpsons did whatever it did, there hasn’t been a television show I could reference to get my exact point across. I try to stay well versed, watching a little of this and a little of that so I can hold my own in conversations, but few others do. Most are committed to a couple of television shows and a limited number of movies. Oftentimes, I use a quote and end up explaining the concept of the scene, the characters, and even the whole program itself.

But worse than having to explain a reference is having to listen to someone else explain one. “Have you seen the episode of the Big Bang Theory where…?” And I stare at them, my eyes glazed over as they try to paint the picture of Leonard doing something that resembles the situation we’re currently in. It’s unsettling watching a crowd happily discuss a television show you have no interest in or haven’t caught up on. You simply stand at the perimeter, lacking interest or fearful that your show will be ruined.

Similar to telling someone about your dream, referencing a movie the other person hasn’t seen isn’t even worth talking about. Sure, it can be a nice detour from the normal small talk of weather, traffic, and work, but like most detours, it’s only used when something is already broken: the conversation.

Getting a cheap laugh by referencing a Family Guy or South Park episode seems like fun, but the truth is it shows people your limited creativity. There are people at parties who are the centre of attention merely for memorizing Peter Griffin quotes, but nobody really cares about those people or finds them interesting.

If you want to reference something, make sure the person you are speaking to knows about it beforehand. If they don’t, don’t bother explaining it, because the magic is already lost. There is plenty to talk about, so don’t go on and on trying to describe the blonde guy from Clerks. You know… urgh… what’s his name? You know, you’ve seen it right? Let’s move on.

Canucks Corner: The halfway mark

July 3, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 29 2013

By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

More than half of the season is over, and the Canucks are teetering uncomfortably in the standings. On one hand, they are leading the division with a slight edge over the Minnesota Wild; on the other hand, the slightest slip up will send them plummeting out of the playoff picture.

The Western Conference has always been competitive, but with six points separating 13 teams, the shortened season has made the race to the finish line even more dramatic. Few teams love drama more than the Canucks. So if we expect them to pull their game together and race away from the pack to join Chicago and Anaheim as un-touted division champions—don’t, because things are about to get messy.

Failing to exceed expectations, the Canucks are playing cool with all their unfinished business, namely the business in the crease. Cory Schneider is having a respectable season sharing the net with Robert Luongo, but respectable is not winning complete confidence from upper management. As trade deadline looms around the corner, everybody is anticipating the inevitable. But will it happen in April or will it happen in June? Luongo’s stock hasn’t been higher since the season started and that’s usually a sign that something will happen sooner rather than later.

It’s also apparent that the Sedins won’t be challenging for any scoring titles this year with their underperformance on the top line—an area the Canucks have to look at as they plan for the future. Jordan Schroeder has shown potential of one day becoming an elite forward, but it is a work in progress. And since Mason Raymond, Zack Kassian, and David Booth are all having a horribly-mediocre season, Canucks fans can only hope that someone in the organization will step up or a team with a top offensive prospect will be enticed by Luongo.

For a while, it looked as though the team could thrive without Ryan Kesler’s leadership and grit, but with so many games ending in one or two goals, the Canucks are hoping there is no delay with his healing foot. But the question is worth asking: will Kesler be the same player he was before? Will he go the extra mile to finish his checks? Will he have the same intimidating net presence? All questions aside, it is time for him to adjust his style. The ever-changing Canucks need him to become less of a two-way player and focus more on powering through opposition’s defense—as well as photo bombing his teammates during interviews.

HOCKEY: A GUIDE TO CANADA’S PASTIME

July 3, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published by MeetVanCity.com

Saturday February 9, 2013

Hockey is considered to be a violent sport with its high physical contact. And that’s why we love it. On the ice, players can reach speeds exceeding 30 miles hour and the hockey puck can travel over 100 miles an hour. It is not hard to explain why hockey is referred to as “the fastest game on earth.”

Created outdoors during the icy northern winters, hockey is more than a sport for Canada.
It is a tradition and a culture. Hockey combines the act of ice-skating with shooting
a rubber puck into the opposition’s net with a curved stick. Each successful attempt is called a goal and it is worth one point. The team with the most points is the winner.

On the Ice: A game of hockey requires two teams with five skaters (a line) and
a goalie each. The National Hockey League (NHL) has 30 teams, seven from Canada
and 23 from the United States. A team is usually constructed with four lines of
three forwards and three lines of two defensemen and two goalies, one starter
and one back up (should the starter be unable to play). A game consists of three 20 minutes periods. If the 60 minutes end in a draw a five-minute four-on-four overtime is played. If no deciding goal is scored in the allotted time, then a best of three penalty shots is required.

The Process: In the NHL a hockey season consists of 82 games (with exception to lock-out years) with the 30 teams separated by two conferences: Western and Eastern. Each conference is divided into three divisions with five teams in each. The Eastern
divisions are Atlantic, Northeast and Southeast. The Central, Northwest and Pacific are the Western divisions. The majority of the games are against teams within the geographical divisions. Each win is worth two points, and if a game goes into overtime, the winning team earns two points, while the losing team will get a one-point consolation. At the end of the regular season, the top eight teams in each conference will contend for the Stanley Cup in the playoffs.

The Prize: The Stanley Cup is Canada’s Holy Grail. Etch around its rim are the years and names of pass winning teams, players and coaches. It is more than a trophy– it is a history book. Considered as the toughest championships, the Stanley Cup Playoffs consist of 16 of the 30 teams. Split up by the conferences, the playoffs are a four round best of seven series competition.

Whistle Whistle: Unlike most team sports, fighting is a distinctive element of hockey. Although players may choose to fight, they are still not exempt from punishment. Fighting is a major penalty that forces players out of the game and into the penalty box. Penalties are categorized by the infraction’s severity. A minor penalty is worth two-minute, double minor charges four and a major is worth five minutes. Different levels of suspensions are also dispensed to players whose offense contributed to injury or can be considered as an attempt to injure.

The Frozen Surface: A hockey rink is a rounded rectangle with lines and circles used to indicate various spots on the ice. Two blue lines mark a neutral zone, which separates the offensive and defensive zones. The blue line are also used to identify offside calls (where a player on the offensive can not be past the blue line without the puck passing first.) There are nine face-off dots on the ice, two in the attacking zone, two in the defensive zone and five in the neutral zone.

Hockey is a complicated game to play, but a simple game to watch. It is fast-paced and high action. There is nothing like the crisp air of an ice rink, the sound of crashing bodies, and the intensity of a game. But as a spectator, remember to pay attention, because with slap shots, big checks and heated competition anything can end up in the crowd during a hockey game.

Committed incorporated

July 3, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 19 2013

Our questionable loyalty to businesses, products, and corporations

By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

“Don’t buy lamps at IKEA,” my friend once told me. “It will look lonely in your house.”

I didn’t understand her profound statement or the personification immediately, but I soon understood. The lamp I had purchased looked out of place, awkwardly positioned in the corner of my room—yes, lonely. That was until I bought an IKEA desk and an IKEA chair to befriend it. Now my room doesn’t look half bad; far from the photogenic images in the flyers and brochures, but still respectable. Like dressing up in a suit and tie, my room, although furnished and appearing well-to-do, now lacks personality, originality, or any charm whatsoever. And it all started with a lamp.

Some advocate for companies the way we cheer for sport teams. Others are simply addicted. Over the years, I have developed a tight bond with Apple products. The story began with my first iPod, a green second-generation iPod Shuffle. I resisted the lure for many years, even though I was bombarded with advertising and recommendations. I had to find out first-hand whether or not it was a quality product, and although I have had MP3 players in the past, I now have an iPod. I was hooked. Several years later, I came upon familiar crossroads when the contract for my flip phone ended and I was due for a new one. I had all the choices in the world, but I went with old faithful: Apple. I once had a phone, but now I have an iPhone, and something tells me I will never have anything but. After all, it syncs so well with my MacBook Pro.

I’ve joined the herd shepherded by the big corporations, but is that such a bad thing? I know people who only order coffee from Starbucks and I know people who boycott it completely. Are loyalty or disdain for a company reasonable? We are creatures of habit and we find comfort in knowing that some things will always be there for us. There’s so much turbulence in our lives that it’s good to have some stability somewhere, even if it’s just sticking with Crest as the toothpaste of choice.

But it’s important to know that there’s a vast world out there. The only way for anyone to know what their preferences are is to try as many things as possible, and there are few mistakes more regrettable than settling. Exploration does not have to be an epic adventure. It can be as simple as making a different choice, such as ordering soup instead of salad, driving a Nissan instead of a Toyota, or shopping at Superstore instead of Safeway. Corporations, as evil and corrupt as they are, are still out to please you, so don’t be intimidated; embrace it.

Having a trustworthy, reliable brand is fantastic. In this materialistic world, life is not only about relationships between people, but also between consumers and corporations; when one finds the other, it is a true love story.

Douglas Profile: Cast of ‘Blue Window’

July 1, 2013April 17, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 19 2013

Aaron Holt, Alex Chan, Katie Doyle, Larissa Sampson, Maddy Osborne-Wood, Michael Kurliak, and Shanelle Horobec (Actors)
By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

“Fight Club!” “Breakfast Club!” “No, definitely Fight Club!” It is not uncommon for a group working together to have disagreements, but the cast of Blue Window came to a quick consensus when discussing the best pre-performance movie. “We all have such different taste in everything,” says Michael Kurliak, “But it is one of those things we can all agree on.”

“There is action, there is comedy,” Larissa Sampson agrees, “and there are hot men for Shanelle.”

“It is always an important thing,” laughs Horobec.

Blue Window is the ensemble’s second Douglas production, and it is clear that living in the trenches together for so long has erased all signs of formality. “It is so necessary for the work we are doing,” says Sampson. “Because of the emotional vulnerability; to be able to cry in front of the entire cast and know that they are not like, ‘Heh! Look at her trying to cry, she looks terrible.’” Their friendship and trust is the framework for the performance, and it is the most valuable and pleasurable part of the experience.

But with 12-hour days, rehearsing emotional scenes over and over again, the actors feel the tolls adding up. “A lot of stuff doesn’t come out,” says Maddy Osborne-Wood, describing the internal struggles of her character Boo:

“She has these big parts where she’s just lying on a couch, and at first I was, ‘Oh okay, lying on a couch,’ but the thoughts that come from that can be pretty draining.”

Although the presentation on stage is significant, the ability to remove themselves from the lives of their characters is equally important, if not more so. “Safety is the top priority,” said Alex Chan. “It is really easy to lose yourself. It might not happen on day one, and it might not happen on day five, but… something outside the work entirely can happen to weaken your mental fortitude and that is not healthy.”

As romantic as living and breathing theatre sounds, the group also knows that such a relationship could be abusive. “After rehearsal, I can’t just go to sleep,” said Sampson, “I have to go home and de-stress.”

“Defragment,” Aaron Holt adds. “It is good to take some time off and return to it. It becomes so much more exciting.”

Acting requires effort, and oftentimes the art form is unappreciated. Marketability becomes a large factor for the future of young actors. “It sounds horrible,” said Sampson, “but you have to pander to people. Nobody wants to see you do Macbethagain, the exact same way everybody else has done it. But if it is Macbeth set in space, would that be dumb?”

On a planet where entertainment is a mouse-click away, theatre seems as good as dead, but the cast is undaunted. “It is not dying,” said Holt, “It is just changing.” Vancouver‘s diverse culture is a breeding ground for new experimental art, as well as contemporary renditions of the classics. Motivated by the evolution, Osborne-Wood and the others don’t feel a need to relocate. “We have this group of actors and the stagecraft people,” she said, “and we are just starting to create our own theatre. We just need to start doing things and see what happens. It’s about giving opportunities and testing the water.”

Anticipating the future is not a comfortable act for anybody, and it is no easier for actors. But when all is said and done and the spotlight hits the stage, the cast of Blue Window will remember the stern words of a former instructor, Stephen Drover: “Don’t bullshit me!” A lesson we can all follow.

The sneeze season

July 1, 2013July 2, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 12 2013

How to survive seasonal allergies

By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

It is ironic that the season synonymous with rejuvenation and birth is also the period of the year that makes me feel like dying. No, I’m not being melodramatic; I just have a really bad case of hay fever. Running nose, itchy eyes, and endless sneezing are the crippling symptoms of spring allergies. They are not fatal the same way food allergies can be, but they can ruin a day, a week, or even a couple months. But those who have never experienced the horrible trials of blooming flowers will consider the suffering snifflers to be sick and disgusting, and offer little sympathy. It is the price we pay for a nice summer day—that is, if we can survive to see it.

Allergy medications are often the easiest solution. There are pills, sprays, and eyedrops all developed to soothe the symptoms. There is a whole aisle in the store dedicated to allergy relief. But with budgetary problems, I tend to conserve the pills for dire situations, meaning in moments where the sneezing and itching are too unbearable. Drugs may take anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple of hours to kick in, and because of their inconsistent reliability, they only work as a crutch. I am skeptical of modern medicine; some days I preach it and some days I curse it. Sometimes it’s best to find natural coping methods for chronic problems like allergies.

Spring allergies are mainly caused by the large amount of pollen in the air, so if your symptoms are bad, stay away from floral areas or simply remain indoors. Consider getting an air purifier inside your house to clean the air. Since Vancouver will remain frigid until early June anyways, there is no need to keep the doors and windows open. Locking yourself away from the world may seem like a horrible alternative to sneezing, but there will be days when breathing is more important than frolicking in a field.

Allergies are not limited by the weather. They can be as agitating on rainy days as they are on sunny days. But the heat plays a big part in our ability to cope with the discomfort. Sneezing and sniffling take up a lot of energy and the sun beating down on you while you inhale through your clogged nose can be absolutely draining. So seek out air conditioned places or stick your head in the freezer just to get a moment of relief.

A shower is another very effective way to deal with spring allergies. Because allergens like pollen are airborne, most of them travel on you or with you. A shower and a change of clothes will rid you of the particles that you have collected throughout the day.

There are moments where you’ll feel that the only way to deal with allergies is to attack them aggressively, but all that will do is leave you with tissue rash under your nostrils and multiple other agitations. Allergies should be dealt with methodically and should not cause frustration. Familiarize yourself with a routine to cope. Recognize the time of year they usually happen. Schedule your day accordingly so you don’t spend large periods of time outside or in dusty areas. Understanding what causes your agony is the best way to avoid it or at least bare with it until the season turns.

Tasteless T-shirts

July 1, 2013July 1, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 5 2013

Keep your ego-boosting slogans to yourself
By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

Remember those “I’m with stupid” shirts with an arrow pointing to the person beside you? Weren’t those hilarious? Well now, athletic brands like Nike are producing T-shirts that point the attention on the wearer, but with positivity. I’m referring to the “I’m so awesome” shirts, which aren’t funny at all—they are actually a bit aggravating.

To have the gall to wear a shirt promoting how great you are all day makes you an egomaniac, and that is not exactly a good first impression. Some might say their apparel isn’t meant to bring anybody down; they are simply inspirational quotes. Thanks, but I don’t need to get my inspiration from looking at your bulky torso. I know you work out—you’ve been talking about it all day. I don’t need your shirt to remind me too.

If you want to inspire someone, don’t rehash old sayings. “Just do it,” it says. “Then do it again!” How droll. There is a thin line between being confidently motivational and arrogantly ambitious. And the line can be crossed simply by wearing those shirts outside of your bedroom or the gym.

When someone walks by me wearing a T-shirt that says “Don’t sweat my swag,” in bold, colourful text, I am unsure what to make of it. Is it just workout slang or a subtle putdown? I’m really not sure. But perhaps pondering the meaning of such a phrase is in fact sweating the swag.

T-shirts are the perfect canvas for showcasing personality and interests. Yet, we are constantly changing. I just have to look through my own closet to find old relics of places “I heart” and concerts I’ve attended. The T-shirts I’ve accumulated over the years become a little history book of my life. What I wore when I was 17 is different from what I wear today. Like looking at old pictures, we remember how stupid we used to look in those Ed Hardy T-shirts and V-necks. Oh wait—we still wear those.

The casual look is the reason we choose to be in a T-shirt, but it is still important to stay classy. No matter how athletic, intelligent, and confident you are, your bad taste will tell the world otherwise. Save your witty quotes for Twitter or bathroom stalls. Don’t wear them on your chest as if “YOLO” is the name of some sport team you play for. If your shirt says, “I’m the best,” then you’d better live up to it.

Matt and Kim

July 1, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in Beatroute. Oct. 31 2012

COMMODORE BALLROOM – OCTOBER 29, 2012

It is hard to imagine high energy on the Sunday night of Halloween weekend. But Matt and Kim supplied the perfect double-shot-espresso kick to end the late October rituals. Packing into Vancouver’s Commodore Ballroom with the fanatic opening performance by Oberhofer, Matt and Kim made a custodian’s nightmare out of the dance floor. Confetti, balloons, and derelict garments scatter across the venue as the crowds bounce to the pair’s ecstatic beat.

Gratefully sipping the 5% Budweiser from north of the border, Matt and Kim mixed their classic tunes with popular dance hits including Sir Mixalot, Alice Deejay, and Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP to name a few. Surpassing any nightclub experience, watching Kim laying the fury on the cymbals with her permanent smile was worth the ticket price. The pair used the stage like a jungle gym, striking poses on the bass drum, stool and even climbing upon the audience. Aside from being agile, the most memorable moments include Kim’s proposition. After hearing a collective chant from the crowd, she said she would remove her bra if the audience would take off an article of clothing and wave it in the air. Adhering to her words, Kim continued to drum away mildly exposed in her white-netted tank top.

There was no denying that Matt and Kim’s performance was both audibly and visually pleasing. Multiple cameras were attached to their microphones and the image was projected on a screen behind. Occasionally they would cut to the camera’s perspective showing the audience what the performance would look like if it was presented through Skype. But this was no small screen performance. It was a spectacle. Few musical duos could sustain the vigorous energy like Matt and Kim. They weren’t only hosting the party; they were the life of it.

After ending on a high note with “Good For Great,” an optimistic centrepiece on their third album Sidewalks, the couple guaranteed the crowd that their love for Vancouver would bring them back sooner than later. The reassured audience members finally catch their breath and wipe the sweat off their brows. It was indeed a workout of a concert. Feeling fit and undaunted, the costumed crowd steps out into the rainy night recollecting a successful weekend.

By Elliot Chan

REM: Really Entertaining Movies/Music

July 1, 2013 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Mar. 5 2013

Great movies and albums I can’t stay awake for

By Elliot Chan, Staff Writer

Great films and albums aren’t always the ones that keep us on the edge of our seats or send us dancing until the sun comes up. Some fantastic works of art have a drowsing effect; they challenge the senses and cause the brain to concentrate extra hard on picking up the subtleties. These exhausting marathon films and albums are not meant for large groups of friends, nor are they the type of entertainment for a casual night in. They are a commitment you make, and patience, perseverance, and maybe a cup of coffee will help you reach the credit without snoozing.

Apocalypse Now (1979): Touted as one of the greatest war movies ever, the 153-minute running time felt like an endless anticipation for a battle scene that never comes. The film opens with those famous lyrics from The Doors, “This is the end…” Ironic. I have never watched it in one conscious sitting. During multiple screenings I recall Martin Sheen’s character Benjamin Willard getting on the boat and riding down the river, then fade to black and suddenly there is Dennis Hopper and an ox is getting sliced in half. I always wake up for Marlon Brando’s “The horror… the horror!” and then doze back to an uncomfortable sleep and waking up to the smell of napalm in the morning.

Bon Iver (Bon Iver) (2011): If you have a long study session or a workout and would like the accompaniment of music, avoid this album. Like a sunny day at the beach, Bon Iver has the ability to suck energy from mortal men. How can anyone be productive with his soothing ambient vocals? If you want to enjoy this album in its entirety, cancel all your plans. But trust me, it will be worth it.

jj n° 2 (jj) (2009): Based from Sweden, the members of jj have transformed R&B and hip-hop classics by such names as Akon, Lil Wayne, and Kanye West into soft-melodic tunes. Incorporating their own lyrical twist and adding a psychedelic aspect to familiar beats, jj has joined a large group of independent musicians in a subgenre called dream pop. Jj’s n° 2 is a terrific album for an afternoon on the porch with a friendly companion and a cup of Earl Grey, but what the artists recommend is another element they suggest right on the album cover (Spoilers: it’s weed).

Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers (2002): I sometimes do nerdy things, but I am not the most persistent nerd, proven by my many failed attempts at watching theLord of the Rings trilogy in a marathon. I can watch the first one, Fellowship of the Ring (2001), with little or no problems. Frodo takes the ring, Gandalf falls in Moria, and Boromir dies—bing, bang, boom. But the second one is an absolute struggle, and it is because of the scenes with the Ents (talking trees). While Merry and Pippin were trying to convince the passive tree race to join in the battle for Middle Earth, the dreadfully slow dialogue had already defeated me. Maybe one day I’ll watch The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings together… then again, maybe I’ll sleep on it.