Nearly four years I’ve been working on this project, and it just feels like I’m getting started. It’s a crazy feeling and I know I should be somewhat demoralized, but I’m actually more excited than ever because my story is actually starting to make sense. 

During the midst of the pandemic, I wanted to work on a big project, something that will be with me through the good and bad times, a place I’m always welcomed, characters that can stay with me, a story that I can build upon and evolve as I do. I did that. The pandemic came and went and here I am now with pages upon pages of words. Three books in a trilogy. All at different stages of completion.

As I wrote, I loaded so many ideas into the story. It was something of a journal. It was therapy. Anything that I was feeling, anything that was happening in the world, anything that I wanted to learn more about, I put it into the story. Naturally, things went in many different directions. 

One can say that I was undisciplined, unorganized, and simply writing by the seed of my pants, and that was all true. I started writing with only one idea, and as I sent the character through trials and tribulations, more and more ideas arised. And I embraced it all, because — even though I had a sense of where I wanted it to end — I didn’t know how I wanted to get there, and more importantly, I was experimenting with the tone and style and flavor of the story. 

Now that I have all the drafts in front of me, I see what I want to do clearly. Not only do I know how to style this project, I know what my next projects will be and beyond. But before all of that, there is a lot of work left on this one. Like I said, although there are thousands and thousands of words on the page, many of those words are not the right ones. I think of them as stand-ins for a more specific story that I want to tell. A story that is more focused, more clear. A story that doesn’t meander around like someone at a supermarket with nothing they need to buy. 

In other words, I am going to be rewriting everything. From book one which I last left off at draft five to book three which I have just finished writing the first draft long hand and am now transcribing. 

I am going to go from beginning to end, from the first word to 300,000th word and make sure that it is all serving the main story that I want to tell. The skeleton is there. It took me 4 years to get it, and it was necessary, because without it, I would have nothing at all. And I cannot say that I could have gotten to this point without all the work I’ve put in previously. So, no, I don’t think that 4 years of work is down the drain, although a more pessimistic side of me would certainly want me to think that. 

About a year and a half ago, I came close to abandoning this project, like I have done for many before. But after getting the ending down, and really thinking through what kind of writer I want to be, and what stories I want to tell now and in the future. I’m rejuvenated. I have never felt more clarity than I do now with my creative projects. And I just want it all to happen fast. 

Then I remind myself that it took 4 years to get here, and it might take another 4 years to get to the finish line. Which gives me a bit of peace. There is no rush. Maybe some of you out there are waiting for it, but heck, there is a lot of other stuff to read in the meantime. So patience. 

Most importantly, I’m enjoying the process again. This project is my highest priority and I’m glad to be able to spend even a few minutes working on it every day. Little by little. Which is all I can ask for as I try to balance work, exercise, mental health, and rest with everything else in life. 

I know it’s not interesting to hear someone talk about their unfinished project for over 4 years, but hey, that’s the creative process that is often rarely acknowledged. It’s not exciting. It’s a slow grind. It’s endurance. It’s doing it even when everything else is telling you to stop. 

So, that’s where I am. I know where it needs to go now, more than ever. I know the path to take. I know all that. It’s just about going all the way back to the beginning and doing it all over again. Like an actor taking it from the top, so it goes with this project. 

Join my YouTube community for videos about writing, the creative process, and storytelling. Subscribe Now!

For more writing ideas and original stories, please sign up for my mailing list. You won’t receive emails from me often, but when you do, they’ll only include my proudest works.