Taste the rainbow

November 10, 2015November 7, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Why gimmicky-coloured food should stay out of your mouth

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in the Other Press. October 16, 2015

In honour of Halloween, Burger King grilled up the spooky Black Whopper. Brilliant. Horrifying. Like green beer during St. Patrick’s Day or wacky-coloured eggs on Easter, changing the hue of food is nothing unusual. Putting aside what the Black Whopper does to our excrement, I cannot ignore this lame marketing attempt.

Colour is not innovation, and rarely does it enhance flavour. Remember in 2013, when Apple released the iPhone 5C? Colour was the newest design update, and they made a big deal out of it—even though the majority of people who have a smartphone have a case for it. Same goes with food—especially fast food. You cannot give something another coat of paint and expect people to be impressed.

My first encounter with food of another colour was late in my childhood. I was young and still impressionable, and Heinz EZ Squirt Ketchup caught my attention the way a bug would when it flies into my face. This was in 2000, so I assume you might not remember, but Heinz EZ Squirt Ketchup was the famed condiment company’s attempt to appeal to a younger demographic. Yes, imagine it now: green, purple, orange, and blue ketchup. It sounds too interesting not to try. So, my parents bought me a bottle of the purple kind. I had two hot dogs with it—and that was it.

Immediately, at such a young age, I realized what an impact colour had on the overall preconception of food. If it looks wrong, it’ll taste wrong. My brain just couldn’t make purple ketchup good.

Don’t believe that colour affects flavour? Try this: grab a bag of Skittles, have a friend with you, and eat each one with your eyes closed and try to distinguish its colour. Red is supposed to taste like cherry, right? Purple is supposed to be grape, right? You’ll be surprised how inaccurate your taste buds are without the help of your eyes.

Colour is great for decoration, but it should not be the main selling point for anything, be it cars, appliances, or even food. Ask yourself, when was the last time you ate something just because of the colour? Maybe it was greens, because your parents forced you to—but otherwise, very seldom.

When was the last time you were out with friends, and someone asked: “What do you want to eat?” and you said, “Something yellow.” “Fried chicken it is!” Never. That’s not how we make decisions. Food marketers need to be a little more creative, a little more inventive, and a little more tasteful when offering limited-time food. It should not be gimmicky. It should be tasty.

You have the privilege

November 8, 2015November 7, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Is your costume racist, offensive… or just sexy?

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. October 28, 2015

I want to talk about cultural appropriation involving Halloween costumes. I know, I know, it’s a long-discussed topic between party-poopers and ignorant eye rollers.

Let me come at this subject from where I stand as a Halloween party participant. Each year I attend a party wearing a costume where I feel like it’s not me. Not because I’m uncomfortable or the fact that it’s supposed to be a costume, it’s just because I have a hard time convincing people that I’m a white guy. My previous costumes included: Donnie Darko (I looked like a hoodlum), Richie Tenenbaum (I looked like Kim Jong-il), and Steve Jobs (I looked like my uncle Stephen). One year, I said, “Fuck it,” and went as Glenn from The Walking Dead. I wore a baseball hat; that was my whole costume. Even I knew that was a lame costume. I looked like a tourist.

Yes, you might say, white is the default race and therefore white people cannot be offended if I should dress up as a cowboy. Then how come when a white guy dresses up as a Chinaman it’s a big deal?

Oh, he’s perpetuating a stereotype, you say.

He should check his privilege.

I hate that phrase, “check your privilege,” this line for governing white people. Thanks, I don’t need the protection, other white people. I have thick skin. Your little costume doesn’t offend me.

I’ll never know what it’s like to be a white person, but I do know what racism is. Racism is when you tell me I can’t drive because I’m Chinese. Racism is when a black guy gets arrested, only because the white police officer is scared. Racism is trying to get your foot in the door for a job and having less-experienced white people leapfrog you. A Halloween costume is not a big, oppressive statement. It’s a costume. It’s not the problem, and those that believe it is are those same people who try to be healthy by avoiding sugar in coffee, and then eating a cake as a reward. It’s a molehill problem, not a mountain.

Here’s a popular response: Would you dress up like a black guy around a group of black guys? I’m not saying that if Robert Downey Jr. did it, it’s okay. I’m saying no, I would not dress up like a black guy in Ferguson, St. Louis during the riot. But if I had a Bob Marley costume, I’d wear it on Halloween around friends who understand “One Love.”

There’s a time and place to learn about other people’s culture, and Halloween can be one of them. You can wear a straw-farming hat the same way I can wear overalls and call myself a farmer. The headwear is actually used for farming! It’s real. Wear it because you are interested and you want to learn more about the culture. And do. Mock it because it’s goofy. It is.

Is blackface offensive? Are buckteeth and squinty eyes offensive? Is dressing up as Caitlyn Jenner offensive? Is cross-dressing offensive? Are you able to even out the offence? You know, dress up as Hitler one year and Anne Frank the next? We are so god damn politically correct these days we don’t even know who we are or aren’t offending. We don’t need to walk on eggshells every Halloween. There are more heinous acts of hate in the world. Don’t make hate out of nothing.

No glory for gory

November 7, 2015November 7, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Horrifying decorations is what Halloween is all about

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in the Other Press. Oct. 28, 2015

If you think jack-o’-lanterns, skeleton cutouts, and fake cobwebs are scary, then you’re probably not known around the neighbourhood as being brave. While it’s understood that we all celebrate Halloween in our own unique way, we can all agree that fright should be the theme of the day—not dressing slutty and eating candy.

A community in Parma, Ohio, was left feeling disturbed and disappointed earlier this month when a local resident decorated their yard with scenes of gruesome torture and murder. Human-like and horrifying, the decorations caused neighbours to complain. Generally speaking, people don’t like being scared, unsettled, and disgusted, but hell, this is what Halloween is about.

The argument can be that children should not be exposed to such horrific sight. They might become traumatized by the decoration. It might cause them to grow up and become psychotic killers. Yes, while all that may be true—after all, kids don’t know better—it’s your job as an adult to explain to your children that those are decorations, and they are meant to look real, just like how special effects in a movie are meant to look real. Listen, mom and dad, you cannot shield your children’s eyes forever. You cannot protect them from every scary sight in the world.

I get it; only bad parents would let their children be frightened by some decorations. And it wouldn’t be fair for them to have to deal with a crying child. If they could stop it, they should do anything to stop it. You know what else scares children? Literally anything they want to be afraid of: dogs, weather, insects, nightmares, strangers, anything. If you can teach them rational from irrational fear, you’d be a better parent than one who protects them from every scary thing. You’ll also teach them to be brave, which is useful should they ever need to go down to the basement and fix the burnt-out lightbulb, or respond to an emergency involving blood.

Life is full of scary incidents. A near car accident is scary. Choking on your food while you are alone is scary. Losing your job is scary. Being scared is good. It’s a natural human reaction. Like all things in normal life, the more accustomed you are to that feeling, the better you can cope with it. Halloween should be a time for you to test your limits and face your fears.

It sucks that we live in a world where people who want to share their enthusiasm of fright are shunned and pressured into dismantling their well-made decorations. It’s a shame that people cannot see the beauty in horror, and instead choose the blandness of comfort. Christmas is a great time for comfort. Thanksgiving is a great time for comfort. Halloween should be about disturbance. After all, if loud-ass firecrackers and rambunctious trespassing children are allowed then why not some fake blood?

Isn’t it ironic

October 24, 2015June 3, 2016 / Elliot Chan / 1 Comment

How to deal with people who don’t understand sarcasm

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. October 6, 2015

There is nothing better than someone who doesn’t understand sarcasm. Nothing. If you can’t tell, which so many can’t, I was being sarcastic. I wouldn’t say my sense of humour is of the highest level. But I would say a lot of it relies on irony.

In many situations, sarcasm is classified as inappropriate behaviour, as if I’m acting out of line or to offend. I’m not. It’s just my unique way of dealing with an awkward or uneventful scenario. I love using sarcasm to lighten the mood, especially in a social gathering or workplace. Work can get awfully serious if you allow it to, but I won’t. So, when someone tells me to do something, I say: “Never, I won’t! You do it.” Of course, I’m not refusing to do my task; I’m merely making light of the task and their authority. I’m pretty much saying that neither you nor I should take our duties too seriously. I’ll get to the work as soon as possible.

People who don’t understand sarcasm are often those who take everything seriously. Yes, doctors, lawyers, and police officers shouldn’t be making jokes during their job, and that’s what makes them such wonderful satirical characters on television. But, in reality, not all of us have serious jobs—even school is not that serious when you actually think about it. Will anybody die if you don’t finish your project? Maybe your parents, who invested so much into your life, but nobody else. Nobody cares. So have some fun.

Sarcasm is a great way to break the tension. It’s like a little splash of cold water for those who are serious. Once they realize that my little jokes will not harm them or the task at hand, they tend to lighten up a bit. If they don’t, you probably don’t want to develop any further relationship with them anyway. Their life is probably a straightjacket. You want none of that.

Like strong spice or perfume, sarcasm should be used sparingly when the situation calls for it. Over time, you’ll be able to detect when you are in a situation where you can use it. It’ll show that you are carefree yet daring. Nobody likes a sarcastic douche that can’t take anything seriously, just like how nobody likes an uptight jerk that can’t take or tell a joke.

If you are meeting new people and you want to identify who is conversational in the dialect of sarcasm, present some irony in a group environment first. “Wow! I sure love vegetables at parties.” It really is like another language, and if even one or two catches your drift, they’ll continue the trend and you’ll have suddenly developed a new channel of conversation that isn’t as boring as reading a textbook. Communication should have flavour and sarcasm is a unique spice—and an acquired taste.

For those who don’t get it, luckily for them, they’ll learn. That’s the wonderful thing about languages: they grow on people overtime. As long as it’s presented in a harmless way that is also engaging, people will continue to speak it. According to Smithsonian magazine, those who are sarcastic are highly intelligent, even more than those who are always sincere. If you are able to back it up with hard work, class, and respect, you don’t have to worry—be sarcastic. Yeah, right…

Like a pro

October 22, 2015October 16, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Why there is only one real measurement for professionalism

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor

Formerly published in the Other Press. October 6, 2015

What makes someone professional? That is a question all up-and-coming employees want to know. They spend hours fine-tuning their resume, they buy a new wardrobe, they practice their handshake over and over, and they even show up 15 minutes early for meetings and interviews, but, in the end, none of that matters except consistency.

Being professional is not a switch you turn on and off when you are working. Being professional is an attitude towards all things, regardless if there is a paycheque at the end or not. The ability to treat every task—whether it’s finishing a report, communicating a business plan, or meeting a friend for lunch—with equal importance is what makes someone valued, and therefore professional.

There is nothing more prized in the workplace than an employee who is consistently accountable. If you say you’ll do something, it’s your job to make sure it is done. If you can’t accomplish the task on your own or in time, don’t feel bad. Being professional does not mean that you have perfect foresight. And being accountable does not mean doing everything yourself. A professional needs to meet hurdles with competency, not expertise. When employers are hiring, they are rarely looking for specialists; rather, they are looking for those with the capability of asking for help when they need it.

If you think being a professional is being a perfectionist, working overtime, and straining over every little detail—like what to wear and what to say—then you will never operate at your fullest potential. The pros know that, given time, opportunities, and experience, skills will undoubtedly form and gaps will fill in. There is raw talent, sure, but in a workplace, repetition and routines rule, and learning a task and accomplishing it with consistency is often what makes you a pro.

Yes, you hate your job and you are finding it harder and harder to apply the same amount of enthusiasm you had the first few weeks after you were hired. I have one suggestion for you: quit. If you can’t apply consistency to your craft—and you should live in a world where every job is a craft, where improvement is as important as completion—you are harming yourself. If work ethic were a tangible object, you’d be smashing it into a thousand pieces.

You hear it every day: the job market is a scary, volatile place. Only the best get hired. That is not true, or in a way, only semi-true. When we think of the best athletes, we think of those who are consistently showing up to every game or tournament. They might be scoring goals, stopping shots, or just making par every time, regardless, you can always bet on them. When people look at you will they bet on you to succeed? Where’s your track record to show it?

Being professional does not start after you graduate or get your job or receive your first paycheque. Being professional starts the moment you wake up every day.

Do it for yourself

October 18, 2015October 16, 2015 / Elliot Chan / 1 Comment

Not volunteering does not make you a selfish monster

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in the Other Press. October 16, 2015

You used to do it. You used to commit your valuable time helping an event, an organization, or a cause. I know I did. I don’t anymore. I don’t volunteer, not because I’m busy, but because I recall that most organizations that don’t pay for labour are often disorganized, not so flexible, and ultimately lacking professionalism.

I have had bad experiences volunteering, and I believe many people have as well. But we dismiss all the bullshit because we want the goodwill, we want the work experience, and we want to participate and make a difference.

I’m not going to say that volunteering is a waste of time, because in the end, it’s up to you to define what your time is worth, and for you to decide how you would like to spend it. If you have a group of friends volunteering, you might love it—it’ll just be like hanging out. However, if you feel frustrated over the work or lack of communication, or that perhaps there is a high expectation for your role, be on alert.

There is a reason why unpaid internships are illegal now—it’s slavery. While as a volunteer you are there of your own free will, the organizers often make it seem as though they are doing you a favour. If you feel like you’ve been mistreated—whether by the leaders or your fellow volunteers—you can leave. There are literally a billion different ways to make a positive impact in the world, and many will even pay you to do it.

We live in a capitalistic society. If you are working for free, that means other people are working for free, and that is not fair for anybody. The least they can do is offer lunch or an honorarium. If an organization does not have a revenue stream, investors, donors, patrons, etc. why does it still exist?

Moreover, if we look at the world as a whole, we see many young adventure-seekers volunteering to build houses and orphanages in developing countries. Okay… cool… but those people don’t need some 20-something-year-old from Cloverdale to help them build shit. Give them material, and they can do it themselves. If you want to have an adventure, get a job, earn the money, and buy a plane ticket without interfering with other people’s lives. If you want to help build an orphanage in Cambodia, donate money and resources. Start a company that will hire local workers to do the job. Create a self-sufficient ecosystem, not one that nourishes your own self-righteousness.

Volunteering is not sustainable. Eventually you’ll have to eat. If organizations want help, they should apply for grants, have some marketing system, and have some incentive—it doesn’t have to be monetary, but it does have to be worthwhile. Volunteering is not for everybody, so before you think of someone else, think of yourself. You deserve your own precious time.

Why NHL in Vegas is a low-stakes gamble—but is it most deserving?

October 8, 2015October 5, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

The ‘best’ cities for NHL expansion

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in the Other Press. Oct. 1, 2015

The National Hockey League has kept their cards close to their chest in terms of when and where the next expansion franchise—if there is one—will be. As far as competition goes, Las Vegas and Quebec City are the two frontrunners, being the only two cities to submit their $10 million application fee. While eyes are on the prize, both of those cities have things working against them when it comes to adopting a NHL franchise.

Las Vegas, known for its sultry heat and abundant amount of entertainment, may seem like a bizarre place to watch hockey. In addition, having never been home to a major sports team, Las Vegas doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. Bets are on for whether such a venture would be successful or not. We would hate to see it become another inescapable desert disappointment, (cough cough) Phoenix, I mean, Arizona.

All I can say is that the heat will not be what harms their chances; it will be the fan base. At the moment, Hockey Vision Las Vegas, an organization seeking committed hockey fans to buy tickets, is aiming to convince the league that there is a strong desire for hockey. I believe there is a fan base in Vegas, but not necessarily from the locals.

Las Vegas is a vacation hotspot with 40 million people visiting in 2014—many of whom came during the winter season, i.e., hockey season. This is a perfect opportunity to lure in spectators who would not have an opportunity to see hockey otherwise.

I know that Vancouver fans will happily drop $500 for flights and an all-inclusive trip to Vegas to see a Canucks away game against the Las Vegas team. But would those living in the Sin City bother seeing their own team? The fact is that any Canadian hockey fans would be excited to see their team in Vegas, but if that’s the case, why not have the expansion take place closer to home?

Seeing Winnipeg get a team back in 2011 must have given Quebec City a lot of hope. The reason they lost the Nordiques in 1995 to Colorado was because their facilities could not match the new NHL standards. That’s all changed now; the Videotron Centre gives the city some legs to stand on when trying to earn the NHL’s attention. It’s designed with hockey as its sole purpose. With that being the case, it’s just a matter of time before hockey returns to French Canada.

However, Quebec could get a franchise again via a different route: the Carolina Hurricanes have been rumoured to be on the move. This means the former Hartford Whalers franchise could possibly move north of the border… wouldn’t that be nice?

Las Vegas and Quebec City are as different as cities come, but for hockey, I believe these two places are apt choices. Nevertheless, I hate seeing so many NHL franchises concentrated on the East Coast. We are due for a couple of purely western teams. For selfish reasons, I would rather see an expansion team in Seattle or Portland before a team in Quebec City. One thing lacking for Vancouver fans is an opportunity to go on road trips to see our regional rivals. If Seattle can make a push when the next expansion round comes around, that would be exciting news. But for now we’ll take what we can get, and be happy we don’t live in Atlanta.

Level up the real way

October 5, 2015October 5, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

How to gamify your life

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. Oct. 1, 2015

Why do we love video games? I personally don’t. I find them stressful and frustrating. More often than not, I drop the controller and tune it out. I love listening to people talk about video games with enthusiasm, though. But, because of my ineptitude, I choose to pursue more achievable goals in my life.

Hence, I reframe my question: why do they love video games? Well, I guess other people love video games because there are these little achievable goals. You go from one stage to the next collecting coins, building infrastructures, defeating bad guys, saving the princesses, and heroically winning. That doesn’t always happen in life. The game of life lacks the instant gratification felt in a video game. Life’s little achievable goals take years and years to accomplish.

Moreover, life’s little defeats aren’t as miniscule as video games either. If you lose in life—get fired, fail an exam, get dumped by your partner—you cannot restart; you have to live with it day after day after day. We love video games because a game is an escape. It’s our second life, where failure can be chocked up as a few minutes wasted.

Although video games are great escapes from the real world, the same way sports are for some, the same way television shows are for others, we need to understand that life is the ultimate game. Life is the only game that matters. But why then are we so content with being idle with our lives and putting all of our efforts and energy into a video game, where accomplishments seldom matter?

The reason is because we often make our goals in life too grand to accomplish; we set the bars and our sights too high. That is not how a video game works. In a game, you don’t start at the hardest level; you start at the beginning. You have little, surmountable tasks to accomplish first, they get incrementally harder, and then you fight the boss. That is how you should consider life. That’s how you gamify life. You do it by visualizing it not as a monotonous day-after-day grind, but reframe it as little surmountable tasks, which will ultimately lead to achievements.

When you think of work, you often consider the paycheque. Why not? That’s the whole reason for work. But if that’s the case, then you are always going to be disappointed. After all, you don’t play Mario just to collect the coins, right? Your job should be an avenue for your self-improvement. You should be growing with each day’s task. You should be becoming a better manager and a more skilled worker.

At school, we often dream about graduation, but what about the actual process of learning? Is homework just a means to an end? If it is, then it’s obviously not a game, it’s just a chore. Strive for improvement, yearn to beat the task and excel. If you are willing to waste five hours trying to level up on your iPhone game, you can very well spend that five hours beating your previous score for your homework assignment and retaining the information.

We love games because they’re an escape from reality, but we have to remember that we deserve to win in life too. So don’t waste all your efforts in front of the screen, save some for the real world.

Thanks for nothing

September 27, 2015September 20, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Why we shouldn’t give credit unless credit is due

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in the Other Press. September 16, 2015

Now and then we find ourselves sending praise to someone who doesn’t deserve it. This tends to happen in environments where you have to work as a team or as an ensemble. It seems when bad work is done, blame is passed around and fingers are pointed. That’s a destructive attitude, solving nothing. Alternatively, the reverse problem is as bad. It seems that slackers in a group with success would also join in and receive praise. I believe the second scenario can be as harmful as the first.

Riding on the coattails of others is a survival strategy that should have been eradicated at some point during human evolution. We all know someone who does the bare minimum, or little to nothing, and allows others around him or her to pick up the slack. The same way you would cut out a cancerous tumour, you should do the same for that member of the team.

They might be nice, kind-hearted, or have some positive trait. They might have personal issues that stop them from excellence. Regardless, you want to give them the benefit of the doubt and help them along. Still, nothing is more infuriating than someone getting praise for work they didn’t do.

There is a Douglas Coupland quote from the novel Hey Nostradamus! that has always stuck with me: “[I] was raised to believe that the opposite of labor is theft, not leisure.”

The person who doesn’t perform is essentially stealing from the collective. They might not be stealing anything tangible and in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter, but if you allow them to take what isn’t theirs, you are feeding a wild animal, causing them to become dependent on others. You are not helping them. You are not a charity. You are enabling a lazy attitude and that is a benefit to nobody.

One common problem, especially in a professional environment, is when a superior takes credit for work their subordinate had done. While this is indeed a bitch move, I also believe that subordinates allow this to happen by displaying weakness. We need to stand up and defend ourselves without seeming entitled or arrogant.

If you notice someone taking your work and soaking in the praise themselves, you’d need to understand that they might never see their own self-righteousness. They may be a pathological liar or a narcissistic asshole. Don’t call them out immediately, keep a record, and approach their boss. Alternatively, you can try to empathize. Ask: why do they need to lie and steal your efforts? Often it is because of their insecurities and failings. If that is the case, give it time, and be patient. If your work is good and your aim is true, you’ll shine.

The World of Online Payments

September 25, 2015September 20, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Read full series at the Control blog: Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5

Let’s embark on a trip together, shall we? In this five-part series, we’ll be exploring payment solutions around the world and discussing the cultural and technological differences that enable diversified methods of online payments.

Because the world is linked together in so many ways, one of which is the digital marketplace, it’s crucial for your business to understand how a certain demographic prefers to pay. Acknowledging your audience’s payment preference, regardless of which country or hemisphere they live on, is business intelligence that will make you fluent in the payments world.

North America: In North America, credit card is king in terms of online payments. However, there are a number of payment options rising in popularity across the continent. [Read full article here]

South America: In South America, the middle class is rising and the unbanked and underbanked population are now accessing online payments. All this is changing commerce. [Read full article here]

Europe: Europe is home to many different languages, buying cultures, & online payments. Each of those elements will be vital as eCommerce penetration grows. [Read full article here]

Asia/Australia: There are two Asian markets online, one is leading the industry and the other is rising. Online payments will be the keystone for both as trends continue. [Read full article here]

Africa: Africa is a region with fastest growing Internet penetration. Online payments, along with regulations and infrastructure, can help eCommerce thrive. [Read full article here]