Burgers

Why gimmicky-coloured food should stay out of your mouth

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in the Other Press. October 16, 2015

In honour of Halloween, Burger King grilled up the spooky Black Whopper. Brilliant. Horrifying. Like green beer during St. Patrick’s Day or wacky-coloured eggs on Easter, changing the hue of food is nothing unusual. Putting aside what the Black Whopper does to our excrement, I cannot ignore this lame marketing attempt.

Colour is not innovation, and rarely does it enhance flavour. Remember in 2013, when Apple released the iPhone 5C? Colour was the newest design update, and they made a big deal out of it—even though the majority of people who have a smartphone have a case for it. Same goes with food—especially fast food. You cannot give something another coat of paint and expect people to be impressed.

My first encounter with food of another colour was late in my childhood. I was young and still impressionable, and Heinz EZ Squirt Ketchup caught my attention the way a bug would when it flies into my face. This was in 2000, so I assume you might not remember, but Heinz EZ Squirt Ketchup was the famed condiment company’s attempt to appeal to a younger demographic. Yes, imagine it now: green, purple, orange, and blue ketchup. It sounds too interesting not to try. So, my parents bought me a bottle of the purple kind. I had two hot dogs with it—and that was it.

Immediately, at such a young age, I realized what an impact colour had on the overall preconception of food. If it looks wrong, it’ll taste wrong. My brain just couldn’t make purple ketchup good.

Don’t believe that colour affects flavour? Try this: grab a bag of Skittles, have a friend with you, and eat each one with your eyes closed and try to distinguish its colour. Red is supposed to taste like cherry, right? Purple is supposed to be grape, right? You’ll be surprised how inaccurate your taste buds are without the help of your eyes.

Colour is great for decoration, but it should not be the main selling point for anything, be it cars, appliances, or even food. Ask yourself, when was the last time you ate something just because of the colour? Maybe it was greens, because your parents forced you to—but otherwise, very seldom.

When was the last time you were out with friends, and someone asked: “What do you want to eat?” and you said, “Something yellow.” “Fried chicken it is!” Never. That’s not how we make decisions. Food marketers need to be a little more creative, a little more inventive, and a little more tasteful when offering limited-time food. It should not be gimmicky. It should be tasty.

I’m ready for an international food chain in Canada

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published by The Other Press. April 7, 2015

The world is full of interesting fast-food restaurants, all with their little unique flares and flavours. And I’m ready to taste them all. However, when you are travelling abroad you might not want to sample fast-food. It’s not exactly the glitzy, adventurous choice. Nevertheless, making a detour to see what they have on the McDonald’s menu in some foreign country is always a must.

With the news that the famous Filipino burger joint Jollibee and the US chicken hotspot Chick-fil-A are joining the Canadian market, I am thrilled. New fast-food restaurant openings are my World Cup and Olympics; they don’t happen often, and it’s not really that big of a deal, but still it makes me happy. Let’s take a moment to remember how happy we were to see Carl’s Jr.

That was a nice moment.

Now let’s take a look at some fast-food joints that I look forward to having, or would love to have in Canada—Vancouver specifically.

Jollibee (Philippines): In 2011, I had the opportunity to visit the Philippines. One image that stuck in my mind during that trip was all the signs with a big-eyed, red-faced, cartoon character. It was essentially the McDonald’s golden arches. The fact that they served spaghetti could not be ignored; I had to try it. Although the experience in the Philippines was lacklustre to say the least, the novelty stayed with me. There was a lot of charm to Jollibee that was absent in some other fast-food restaurants. For a lack of a better word, it was cute—like going to a Build-A-Bear store. It’ll be a treat to visit one in Vancouver.

In-N-Out Burger (US): It’s unlikely that we’ll be ordering from an In-N-Out Burger in Canada anytime soon. Owners of this popular American fast-food chain don’t believe in franchising and have high-quality standards, meaning none of their products are ever frozen. They cannot expand effectively without lowering standards. The fact that everything is processed and delivered locally is really what makes it so awesome. I’ll just stick with Carl’s Jr. for now.

Voodoo Doughnut (US): If you’ve ever been to Portland, you’ve probably seen the long lineup for customizable doughnuts. Purely a tourist attraction, I’m still intrigued by how a doughnut with random toppings on it would taste. Still, I’m not going to waste my trip to Portland standing in line for doughnuts. It’s just not going to happen. Nevertheless, I feel like buying a bag of Skittles and going to Tim Hortons wouldn’t have the same effect.

Bob’s (Brazil): The fact that there is a restaurant with such a generic name—which also might have inspired the popular animated series—is charming enough. In Rio de Janeiro, Bob’s is almost everywhere. It might as well be McDonald’s number one competitors there. Aside from the name, there isn’t much differentiating them from any other fast-food restaurant. We don’t need another Americanized fast-food joint, but variety is as nice as an Ovaltine milkshake.

Shake Shack (US): Why do I want to go back to New York? Because the last time I went there, Shake Shack was closed when I walked by. The world-famous burger shack—strategically placed around the city and in various states—was well-praised for its burgers and hot dogs. You’d think I’d get sick of burgers, but with so many critically acclaimed burgers in the world, I must make sure that it is in fact better than the classic Big Mac.