The punk rock pension

June 27, 2013April 7, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Oct. 2 2012

Green Day grows old in three chords
By Elliot Chan, Contributor

Punk: Green Day was once the genre’s semi-questionable idol. After 24 years, eight studio albums, and one Tony award-winning musical, it’s hard to distinguish which anti-establishment act they stand for today.

So it should be of note that on September 22, three days before the release of their ninth album, ¡Uno!, frontman Billie Joe Armstrong ended a set in Las Vegas abruptly when a LCD monitor at the back of the venue signaled them to wrap-up 20 minutes early. Armstrong was outraged, smashing his guitar after a cuss-filled tirade and claimed that he was mistaken for Justin Bieber. Whether he made the statement out of anger, intoxication, or humour, the fact was that the aging rocker was concerned with usurping artists and the fading limelight.

Song titles from ¡Uno! such as “Nuclear Family,” “Carpe Diem,” and “Sweet 16” all hearken the adolescent golden years. The daunting prospect of time weighs heavily on these unruly musicians, and it translates to the music. Such can be heard on “Kill the DJ,” their second single off the album, which adapts a danceable beat intended for the dominant pop-loving demographic.

Over the years, Green Day’s persona has evolved from angsty shenanigans to political objectors; but their music is a reflection of what they are. So what exactly are they now?

Meanwhile, mainstream America is having an obsession with trilogies. From films to books to albums, producing a series in three parts has recently gone from risky business venture into guaranteed success. But Green Day does not see their new collection as another commercial bandwagoner. ¡Uno! released on September 25,¡Dos! is set to release on November 13, and the final installment ¡Tré! will be available on January 15, 2013, apparently taking inspiration not from the contemporary, but from the classic Van Halen trilogy, Van Halen I, II, and III (1978–1998).

While other aging punk bands (such as Bad Religion and Rancid) try to sustain solely on their organic style, Green Day dares to explore new avenues. After all, they were the band to create the critically acclaimed rock opera American Idiot back in 2004. They are not afraid to veer from convention, but conforming is what they’ll have to do now to endure the ride over the hill.

But many genres allow artists to survive well into their sonority seniority. Look at 71-year-old Bob Dylan, who released his 35th album Tempest just this month.

Should they make the attempt, Green Day would not be the first artist to jump genres to avoid extinction. For example, Kid Rock, despite what you might believe, was smart enough to go from rap to country in order to find an accepting (and yes, existing) audience.

Over the years, Green Day’s persona has evolved from angsty shenanigans to political objectors; but their music is a reflection of what they are. So what exactly are they now? A day after the incident in Vegas, Armstrong checked himself into rehab for substance abuse. In a statement afterward, the band apologized to the promoters and any fans that had been offended. It was punk rock suicide.

The bad press and concert cancellations are devastating blows, but nothing new in the music industry. After all, the ‘live fast, die young’ mentality only works for those committed to dying young. The band is faced with a midlife crisis. If Green Day is aiming to be the Rolling Stones of punk rock, than something’s gotta give. Otherwise, expect an early retirement plan for those prolific punk rockers.

‘Lightning’ strikes, but it’s not ‘Grand’

June 27, 2013April 7, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Oct. 2 2012

By Elliot Chan, Contributor

3/5

If the fleeting moments of summer could be captured on an album, then Matt & Kim have done the job. The indie-pop duo’s fourth album, Lightning, came out on October 2—just in time to help you cope with the looming monotonous seasons ahead.

Those familiar with Matt Johnson and Kim Schifino’s earlier works will know their music arouses the body, forcing you onto your feet, and percolating the senses to dance. You could resist it, but sitting still through a whole song is like holding in a sneeze, something they’ve managed to accomplish yet again on this album.

…their music arouses the body, forcing you onto your feet, and percolating the senses to dance.

In fact, Matt & Kim bring all the elements we love back into their new album. That said, their lack of risk-taking can’t be ignored. There is something about Lightningthat just didn’t spark me the same way their last album Sidewalks (2010) did. I feel like I am arriving at the same party, with all the same people, and talking about all the same things.

Regardless of the party’s familiarity, if you let loose, then you’ll have a good time. But the songs are not all fun and games; most of the lyrics derive from nostalgia. Their eighth track, “I Wonder” contains such savory lines as, “Maybe (maybe) I’ll learn all I need to know from bottles and their broken glass/ Maybe (maybe) these streets were my teachers and I sat in back of class.” Then there is their harmonized finale, “Ten Dollars I Found,” which has a melancholy overtone as they begin fading out: “I’ll buy the next round, with 10 dollars I found.”

Like the memories of summer, Lightning is short and sweet, containing 10 songs and, as usual, just surpassing 30 minutes.

All-inclusive adventure

June 27, 2013January 13, 2021 / Elliot Chan / 2 Comments

Formerly published in The Other Press. Sept. 24 2012

A diary of a domestic male in the Dominican

A satirical article, by Elliot Chan, Vacation Aficionado

Looking for some adventure and excitement when it comes time to travel? Not us! Our intrepid travel writer Elliot Chan takes on exotic locales from the unique perspective of a scared sheltered suburbanite.

The Dominican Republic is one of those countries that travel guides suggest you get a shot before entering. I don’t mean a tequila shot; I mean the doctor needs to pump medicine in you so you don’t die. So you’ll excuse me if I sound a little wary when calling it paradise. To me, there is nothing heavenly about potentially dying from Malaria or another contagious epidemic.

Regardless, I tried to be in good spirits. With my wallet, passport, and iPhone 4 tucked into my travel pouch hidden beneath my breeches, I headed out of the terminal to the charter bus. Then came my first fright. A local man dressed in what appeared to be bus driver garb calmly approached me and asked for my bags.

I nearly wet myself in terror!

Here I was, barely off the plane and already getting mugged. Fortunately for me, I watched a ton of Bruce Lee movies before I left to learn self-defence. However, before I could karate chop him, a fellow tourist, who was a white male between the age of 25 and 40, stopped and informed me that the robber dressed in fake bus driver clothes was actually the bus driver. “Oh,” I said, and then handed him four more bags to carry.

The culture shock was stunning. Hotels in the Dominican cannot compare to the ones in Vancouver. I mean, Best Western is awesome, but the place where I stayed was the Hyatt to the power of 10. I explored the swimming pools, veranda chairs, and even the buffet table. I loved the attempts to incorporate exotic Dominican culture, such as the make your own sundae bar!

On the third day after waking up from a hangover, a friendly man approached me and asked if I was interested in taking a city tour. “Is it safe?” I asked, puffing my chest out in a burly manner. He nodded his head, smiled, and gestured to the bus with 20 other tourists. “Well, when in Rome,” I said, thinking that I should have gone to Rome instead.

It was a long bumpy ride into the city. I sat beside a cute German girl, who exhausted all of the English that she knew during our exchange. It turns out that someone had accidentally given her a book of English sex phrases instead of a dictionary. The rest of the bus ride was filled with an awkward silence.

When we arrived in the city, the guide beckoned us off and suggested that we explore. Once the locals caught the scent of my Axe body spray and the sight of my sunburnt skin, they swarmed me. One after the other, drones of merchants harassed me. I bought authentic bracelets for all of my friends. I’m sure that they’ll be excited to hear that it’s a traditional accessory—at least, that’s what the merchants told me.

Afterwards, I stumbled back to my hotel room in agony. I had the itchiest bug bite on my left ankle and I scratched at it till it started to bleed. My sunburnt nose and shoulders were also peeling, which led me to believe that maybe it was a sign. That perhaps the shedding of my skin was a metaphor or a symbol for my spiritual growth. I took a moment and soaked the epiphany in.

Then I ordered room service and an in-room movie, which was Ocean’s 12.

The troll toll

June 27, 2013April 7, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Formerly published in The Other Press. Sept 24 2012

How to avoid trolls on the Internet

By Elliot Chan, Contributor

A virus has struck the Internet. It is too late for a firewall, it is too late to do a full computer scan, and it is too late to unplug and re-plug your modem. Trolling is officially an epidemic in our online communities. If you have made a sincere comment or left a genuine opinion, a troll is not far away, hunched over their computer, preparing a patronizing reply.

Go to your computer and scroll down any comments list. You don’t have to go far to uncover the markings of a troll. They are ruthless, senseless, and ignorant creatures. Feed them enough negative reinforcement and soon they’ll be insulting your religion, your ideals, and even your mother. Like a junkie getting high off narcotics, trolls get a euphoric sensation from your aggravation. Stop, accept that they exist, and let their antagonizing words fade into the ether.

Although trolling is widespread, the websites that allow users to create their own aliases (Twitter, YouTube, etc.) are more commonly subjected to their antics. So until the day a law is made requiring all computer users’ identification to post comments, we must fend for ourselves. But how can we? The World Wide Web is such a vulnerable place. There are the mean streets of Facebook, the terrifying ghettos of Twitter, and the dark alleys of Reddit. How do we protect ourselves during our online explorations?

Remember, trolls are human beings. That is, they are bored, vulgar, and insecure human beings. That statement alone should make you feel better. But if you still feel victimized by their existence, try this option: kill them with kindness. You’d be surprised how effective positivity can be when following their curt comments. Kindness is troll kryptonite. Give them respect, but don’t linger long—they won’t return it.

As bullying continues in our physical world, cyber-bullying will survive in the virtual one. The Internet will always be home to intolerance, profanity, and slander. But the website universe is vast; there is room for the passive surfers, the gracious Googlers, and the tepid browsers. After all, you don’t need to frequent the Internet that often anyways. The best way to avoid trolls and the temptation of becoming one is to explore the real world. Go out tonight, grab a drink with friends, and laugh over the fact that someone somewhere is unable to terrorize you through a computer screen.