‘The Interview’ aftermath

January 10, 2015January 6, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

What Sony, North Korea, and hackers taught us about movies

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. January 6, 2015

Terrorist threats, computer hackers, and harsh critics have all failed in killing The Interview this holiday season.

While the North Korean government is still bitter over the Christmas release, viewers rejoice knowing that we can all move on to award season without further controversy from the lacklustre film. Our freedom is still intact. We watched a movie without being executed. We won—sort of.

After all the buzz and scare, it’s safe to say that the movie will become a forgettable political satire. The Interview was pretty much Pineapple Express with a sympathetic villain, Kim Jong-Un. I’m not sure what the terrorists and hackers expected, perhaps a defamatory representation of their “god,” but the fact that they made us worried—even for a little bit—is a violation of our rights. For a moment there, we were intimidated. And we should never be intimidated in such a coercive manner.

Obviously President Obama’s statements after Sony pulled The Interview from theatres will not be the most memorable moment of his term, but it’s good to see that they wasn’t bypassed either. Censorship is a dangerous power, especially in a society that harbours freedom of speech. Enabling some foreign government to control our right to document, report, and create art to establish discourse is something every media company should be wary of, but shouldn’t give in to.

The whole scenario is a laughable one now, perhaps even funnier than the movie itself. I hope that Sony is no longer afraid of North Korea, and I hope other private media companies have learned from the incident and fortified their networks as well.

The fact that a movie can be considered a threat says a lot about that nation and the fact that we wavered when threats were uttered says a lot about us too. However, we’ve rebounded with grace and innovation, even teaching some of us to purchase and rent movies via online streams; meanwhile North Korea is shooting insults at the American president, using racial slurs and poor turns of phrase.

Although it was a bit annoying, it was also reassuring to see all the support on social media after The Interview was pulled from major theatre chains. It’s good to know that so many people out there understood the circumstances. It’s good to know that we are not easily swayed by terrorist threats. Sure safety is paramount, but doing something just because someone has a gun to our head is cowardly.

But then again, perhaps Sony already knew about all this. Perhaps, it was all a big publicity stunted written by a supreme leader and orchestrated by a corporate behemoth. The Interview will forever live in infamy. There will be college courses teaching the events of this film in years to come. Maybe Sony knew this. After all, the movie made over $15-million during the holiday weekend and ranks number one in online Sony films.

The Interview was not a threat; it’s a cinema-distributing pioneer. Because of it, YouTube and Google Play are now big players in the feature motion picture game. If there is going to be a censorship war, it’s going to take place in cyberspace, not in the movie theatre.

New year, old news

January 7, 2015January 6, 2015 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

A pessimistic look towards 2015

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published by The Other Press. January 6, 2015

Here’s to another new year—but let’s be honest, as much as things change, the next 365 days will probably contain some scenarios that will feels as though history is repeating itself. This is because numerous unresolved incidents, like lawsuits and wars, can just drag on and on. Other occurrences may seem spontaneous and random, but after the smoke clears, we’ll see that it’s much of the same.

I have high hopes for 2015, I think it’ll be a great one, but don’t be surprised if some of these scenarios occur without warning to derail our plans.

Death of a star: Each year we seem flabbergasted when we hear about tragic deaths of celebrities. It’s nothing new. Death is inevitable and stars burn out. Some might be aging legends, others are troubled individuals, and a few are just ill-fated tragedies.

At the start of 2014, none could have guessed that we’d lose Robin Williams, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Joan Rivers. Shirley Temple, Lauren Bacall, and Richard Attenborough were not that surprising, although the pain lingers still. By the end of 2015, we’ll be recuperating from another year of mourning.

Health crisis: In 2014 Ebola scared medical workers, border guards, and pretty much everybody else in the world. Every few years we get an epidemic scare. Here’s a brief list of diseases we’ve survived so far: H1N1 (swine flu), E. coli, H5N1 (avian influenza), Listeriosis, mad-cow disease, SARS, etc. With that in mind, let’s be ready for the next one. It’s bound to happen with so much filth in the world. Let’s trust in the warning systems and the institutions that protect us. Let’s make good health practices and laugh in the face of death one more time.

Aircraft tragedy: Since 9/11 and the disappearance of Malaysia Airline’s aircrafts, getting on an airplane is a risky and stressful experience. While flying still remains the safest method of travel over great distances, aircraft tragedies have become an international crisis whenever they occur. Tenerife, Lokomotiv Yaroslavl, and Captain Sullenberger are all memorable stories that have made a significant mark in our lives and in the year when they occurred. Don’t be too shocked when another aircraft crash lands into our headlines and leaves us wondering what if.

Cyber controversy: The world of technology is an exploration people have just embarked on and we are all discovering the wonders and the horrors of the Internet and the devices we use. From newly implemented laws such as distracted driving to chilling crises like security breaches and hacks, 2014 was full of stories involving technology, proving that although we can send files across the globe we have yet to master this new tool. The celebrity nude images scandal and the Sony/North Korea hack were proof that the cloud and the ether are no safer than a dark alleyway. As we venture deeper, more awfulness will be discovered and hopefully vanquished.

Natural disaster: Finally, we come to natural disasters. Unlike 2012, 2015 does not have any prophesized apocalypse, and I hope Mother Nature knows that. Any act of God this year will undoubtedly be a shock whether it be an earthquake along the Pacific Ring of Fire, a volcano on an island nation, blizzards on the east coast of North America, or maybe even a wildfire close to home.

Bad things happen. They’re bound to happen and they’re probably happening already, but don’t let that ruin our year. We can rise above it; we have before. Here’s to a great year!

Tired of the Bar Scene? Go to a 24-Hour Bookstore

December 22, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

by ELLIOT.CHAN on Dec 9, 2014 • 10:00 am
Originally published on Ricepaper Magazine

I’ve never been much of a late night barhopping kind of guy; give me a nice book any day of the week—even weekends. And in Taipei, Taiwan, that is exactly how many people feel as well.

The Eslite Xinyi Store, a 24-hour five-story bookstore, is a haven for bookworms and night owls. People of all demographics are welcomed to sit around reading tables and simply enjoy their books in peace. No loud conversations, no heavy bass “unch-unch-unch” music, just the tranquil ambient sound of turning pages and soft classical background music.

In North America, books retailers such as Indigo and Barnes & Noble are still limping as they struggle to find relevancy in brick and mortar establishments. Starbucks, home décor, and other fashionable and eccentric items can now be found in bookstores as a means to sustain themselves financially.

But perhaps North American retailers can learn a lesson from their Asian counterparts. Eslite has turned their store into more than just a place for business; like a café, it’s a stylish place to hang out and chill. The all-day bookstore reported an approximate $425 million revenue in 2013, with 40% coming from book sales. In 2014, revenue is projected to increase by an estimated 8%.

Eslite has created a community where cool and intellectual people can gather, read, share ideas, and even flirt. Those in Taipei proudly compared the bookstore to New York’s SoHo.

While critics say that Eslite is in fact harming the publication industry by allowing hundreds of hours of free readings, a spokesperson for the store, Timothy Wang, claims it is the hospitable attitude of the company that enables success.

So what do you think? Would you like a bookstore open 24-hours around your neighbourhood? Will you be there at 3 a.m. reading the latest issue of Ricepaper Magazine?

So this is Christmas and what have you done?

December 20, 2014December 4, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Give a reason to remember this holiday season

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. December 2, 2014

It’s been said over and over again, yet every year I still see aisle upon aisle of useless garbage in department stores and super markets. The annual exchange of knick-knacks and thingamajigs is the primary reason I get rather turned off by people’s behaviour this holiday season. I see them stressing out, spending money, and swapping items that serve no real function or trigger little lasting memory. It’s been said over and over again, but let’s try it again this year: give an experience, not trash.

The orgasmic thrill of unwrapping presents is a trait so human it might as well be related to the joys of eating; however, gifts do not need to be wrapped. We love unwrapping stuff, but more often than not, after you have left, the recipient of your gift will just have to “deal with it.” Room is limited, and presents quickly become garbage. Unless you are feeding your friends and families’ sick hoarding problems, you are giving them something they don’t need. And if they do need it, they’ll probably buy it themselves.

When I say, “give an experience” or “make a memory,” I don’t necessarily mean buying your friends, families, co-workers, or next-door neighbour a plane ticket to a tropical island; I mean you can take your friend out to lunch, take your parents to the movies, make dinner for your neighbours, or buy a case of beer and share it with your peeps.

It’s not about being frugal—it’s about being smart. I hate spending money knowing that it’s ultimately going to end up in the dump. I know when I’m giving a thoughtless gift just to keep face during the holiday season, and I know that other people do it too. I have nothing against those who claim that buying body lotions, coffee mugs, decorative soaps, holiday gift packs, satirical sweaters, or seasonal plush toys is an act of generosity, but please transfer those generous acts into something memorable or at least purposeful.

We always pretend as though Christmas is a one-day event, but it’s in fact a whole season. Few of us wake up on December 25 and unwrap gifts as if it’s a big spectacle. We have many days to celebrate, we have many days to share some experiences. All we need to do is trade in those hours we allot each year for shopping into hours we can share with the people we care about.

Make some food, plan a trip, take the time, and don’t give something that is forgotten by March.

Scent of a woman

December 10, 2014December 3, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Startup ‘Sweet Peach’ offers supplements to eliminate stinky vagina

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. December 2, 2014

Up-and-coming startup, Sweet Peach Probiotics recently went under scrutiny for creating a product aimed to “freshen up” women’s smelly vaginas.

Before we go and slam Sweet Peach Probiotics as some sort of sexist organization telling women that they—mostly their vaginas—stink, let’s try to understand the biological elements of smell. Things that smell bad to us humans are repulsive because they also do us harm: rotting food, faeces, and even body odour. We are taught to throw away food before it spoils, we are taught to flush the toilet after we use it, and we are taught to take daily showers and brush our teeth.

True, it’s always a sensitive matter when confronting people about their stench. Most likely, they won’t even know that they smell bad. Inherently, we learn to appreciate our own aroma, the same way we appreciate our own uniqueness. We are constructed of a billion tiny bacterial organisms that generate our distinct odour. Bacteria, as you know, is not exactly Chanel No. 5.

As a man, I would never dare order a woman to take supplements to eliminate her natural body odour—not because I’m oblivious, but because I want to continue living. Natural fragrance is a sensitive matter, and although people should be proud of how they smell, it is also important to know when “things” don’t smell right.

A vagina (like a penis and anus) resides in a region of the human body that bacteria loves. The warm, dark, and sometimes wet area, if neglected, can become a marinating pool of microorganisms that can cause infection and discomfort.

I don’t believe Sweet Peach Probiotics is a glamourous product or a female-shaming initiative. Twenty-year-old student and CEO of Sweet Peach, Audrey Hutchinson tells us that it is a product aimed to solve a complicated health issue. It’s not about rejuvenated fragrance—or making vaginas smell like peaches—it’s about restoring a woman’s body into a healthy condition. “A vagina should smell like a vagina,” Hutchinson proudly declares in an interview with Huffington Post, “and anyone who doesn’t think that doesn’t deserve to be near one.”

Men and women alike have distinctive medical problems that can be embarrassing within our society. Instead of opening up and receiving assistance, we often choose to internalize it and hope it fixes itself, while avoiding the risk of being treated like a pariah.

Drugs and supplements may be a solution, but mitigating the risk is equally as effective. We already know the solution to stinky vaginas and other stinky parts of the human body: keep the area clean, and keep anything entering the area clean.

‘Til death do you part

December 2, 2014November 27, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Charles Manson granted licence to marry, as he should

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. November 26, 2014

To me Charles Manson had always been the image of insanity, hate, violence, and murder. To me the man is unlovable, or better yet, undeserving of love. But is that how we punish people? Yes, we can abolish freedom and civil rights, but can we ever abolish love, whatever it is?

It’s been reported that the 80-year-old convicted murderer and cultural symbol of cruelty and bloodshed has been granted legal rights to marry his 26-year-old betrothed, Afton Elaine Burton. It’s a match made somewhere, anywhere, but definitely not heaven. However, their story is one that may be adapted into a Nicholas Sparks novel real soon. After corresponding over letters and telephone, Burton, at 19, moved to Corcoran, California to be closer to Corcoran State Prison where Manson is to be confined until the day he dies. Five hours on Saturdays and Sundays is all they get together, and will continue to get even as a married couple. To Burton, that is worth it.

Burton, a troubled young woman, found Manson the killer to complete her, and even though they will not live a normal life, it can be said that they will have a happy ending, especially when their situation is compared to all the other atrocities in the world. We often say: “Good things happen to bad people,” as if that explains all the injustice in the world, but what happens between two people has nothing to do with justice. Let’s just say he’s lucky to be imprisoned in North America. As far as murderers go, he is a lucky one.

But let’s not forget, Manson is being punished; nothing is going to change his sentence. And after he dies, Burton can move on with her life, infamous. If nothing more, his marriage is final attempt to spread his ideals, his deep dark history through public press and media.

Alternatively, I’d like to consider his story to be an inspiring one. After all, mistakes and loneliness are two of the most crippling struggles people have to deal with. Finding that special someone is not a simple task, and with real life obstacles, those who only have unrequited love may feel downtrodden and defeated. Don’t be discouraged, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done in life, there is always a chance for love. Hey, if Manson found it, so can you.

What’s funny to me is that America is a country where one of the world’s most notorious murderers can operate under the institution of marriage, while many same sex couples can’t. Nevertheless, same sex partners shouldn’t feel discouraged, since the movement is causing the general mindset to slowly but surely shifting in their favour.

Manson had a family before and he lost it all. He could have died a sad old man full of regrets, and many people like him do. But who’s to say he’s isn’t full of regrets? Who’s to say that he is happy? Who’s to say that he even understands what love is? Either way, marriage is not something that should be denied when there is mutual consent.

Keep your dogs off the ledge

November 30, 2014November 27, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Dog owners should have pets on leash in urban areas

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. November 26, 2014

Off-leash dogs in urban areas are not only dangerous to the animal, but also to commuters and pedestrians.

Will the third canine death as a result of jumping over a three-foot-high ledge overlooking Expo Boulevard at BC Place Stadium teach dog owners to keep their pet restrained? I sincerely doubt it. As long as there are dogs, there will be defiant dog owners who believe their “well-trained” animal will never do anything stupid like run into traffic, jump on a child, or—God forbid ever again—leap over a barrier and fall 25 feet.

Now, some can blame the infrastructure for being dangerous, but the area around BC Place Stadium is not an off-leash area and the barrier clearly states that there is a steep drop below. Granted, the dog probably couldn’t read the sign. Now it’s not my intention to sound insensitive, but there is nobody to blame except the owner. Sorry. Learn from the mistake and keep your dog on its leash, especially in urban areas.

Dogs are naturally curious, energetic animals. They are also unpredictable. Dogs have jumped in front of my vehicle more than once while I was driving, causing me to brake hard, narrowly avoiding killing it. The owners run out onto the road, grab the dog, and yank it back onto the sidewalk. They wave, smile apologetically, and I drive off with a sinking feeling in my stomach. When I get upset at pet owners for not keeping their dog on leash, they regard me as someone who hates animals. I don’t hate animals; I’m not a pet person, but I don’t hate animals.

Should an off-leash animal get injured or killed in a public area, it’s not the infrastructure’s fault and it’s not an unfortunate bystander’s fault. It’s the pet owner’s fault. I would hate to kill someone’s pet. Nobody wakes up in the morning and anticipates killing someone’s best friend, but that is what happens when stubborn, lazy owners are negligent. In the States, cars kill approximately one million dogs every year.

Refusing to keep your dog on a leash in public areas is as bad as feeding the animal chocolate. And even though BC Place has agreed to take actions to prevent future incidents involving the dangerous ledge, the real change in thinking needs to be communicated to pet owners. It doesn’t matter how much your dog deserves freedom. For its own safety it should be restrained.

Stop your dog from running into traffic, stop your dog from attacking other dogs, stop your dog from bugging pedestrians—not everybody likes dogs—and finally, stop your dog from running rampant and endangering itself and other people.

Off the Depp end

November 28, 2014November 27, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Why sobriety and award shows suck

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. November 26, 2014

The viral video of Johnny Depp slurring his words and swaying on stage at the Hollywood Film Awards reminded me that the only reason we care for award shows—i.e., other people’s success—is when in the process of acknowledging their success they embarrass themselves.

When I was younger, I would admire the prestige of award shows. Now that I’m old enough to live vicariously, I barely have time to acknowledge my friends’ successes through Facebook, let alone watch an award show for people I haven’t even heard of. Most often I hear about these events afterward when something controversial happens like Miley Cyrus dancing or John Travolta reading poorly. Depp’s intoxicated spiel reminded me that award shows are the perfect environment, not to celebrate the accomplishments of those who are “better” than us, but to ridicule them openly.

The culture of raising someone high and then throwing them down is one that Hollywood does best; it’s tradition and it’s sacred. Award shows of all calibers are jokes. True, once in a while someone deserving wins and it’s super inspiring, but those moments are rare. There is nothing inspiring about watching some actors read the teleprompter or some show-biz folk read a list of names to thank. That’s not impressive. Watching Depp flub his way through an introduction isn’t impressive either, but it is entertaining.

I propose a change: we should stop treating award shows as these hoity-toity variety shows, but instead make it an all-round party—a Big Brother-style show that follows the nominees, presenters, honourees, and attendees throughout the night as they mingle, drink, win, and/or lose. They can dress up if they want to in fancy who-you-wearing garments or they can wear whatever they wore while rolling out of their limo-bed. I don’t want to see celebrities sitting and smiling politely. I want to see them getting into arguments, I want them trying to impress others, I want to see them sweat during awkward silences. Yes, I pretty much want them to go through the social experience we all have when we attend parties and networking events, but I want it televised. Get them drunk and get them talking; let the viewers join the party. Fuck the ceremony!

Wouldn’t it be great to see Depp drinking and chatting up Matt Damon or Cuba Gooding Jr. before walking on stage to embarrass himself? Think of the 100 other things that happen in an award show that go unnoticed just because they didn’t happen on stage. There are so many opportunities to acknowledge that celebrities and rich successful people are just like us: one drink away from doing something stupid.

Winners get their trophies and viewers get what they want: celebrities in a glass box. We are going to do it anyways, so instead of focussing in on just one troubled actor, why not focus on them all. If we are going to laugh at one, why not laugh at all of them? What’s the worst that could happen—we empathize with entertainers a little bit more?

Pizza Hut’s avant garde menu will top it off

November 25, 2014November 19, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Construct your own meal is the future of dining

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published The Other Press. November 17, 2014

There was a time when I was rewarded for my minor accomplishments with a trip to Pizza Hut. My parents would gather my good company together to enjoy an evening at a restaurant that served primarily pizza. Today, the dine-in culture of pizza is gone. Cheap and convenient pizza joints such as Fresh Slice, Megabite Pizza, and Pizza Garden have multiplied over the years, lowering the margin for big-name pizza franchises.

On November 19, Pizza Hut will do what their low-key counterparts have been doing since their inception by offering a diverse new menu. One appealing factor of the smaller pizza places is their ability to improvise. A customer can look through the sneeze guard and see the variety—that’s the demand. And with a declining market of dine-in customers, Pizza Hut will have to do more than pepperoni and meat lover.

Pizza Hut’s new menu will offer innovative flavours including Sweet Sriracha Dynamite, Buffalo State of Mind, Old-Fashioned Meat Brawl, and more. Offering specialty dishes is nothing new in the restaurant industry and many culinary innovators are using traditional food as a blank canvas, creating what some are calling “frankenfood.”

Sushi restaurants, especially in Vancouver, have been some of the most adventurous eateries in the world. Almost every sushi menu has a page dedicated to specialty sushi, some exclusive to the restaurant. Having unique dishes allows the company to drive up the price, and if the dish attracts a cult following, then in a way, the business will never die.

Pizza, like sushi, comes with a plethora of flavours, and customers now have an acquired taste within the food genre. It’s more than being daring. Anybody who had tasted the poutine pizza could tell you that; it’s about giving the market what they want. People are sick of the pepperoni pizzas and the California rolls. Competition in the food and beverage industry is a battle, and more menu options is the key to victory.

Pizza Hut was once a “high class” pizza restaurant, but it can no longer survive with that persona. The public has become acclimatized to the quick-serve pizza joints and place customer service at the bottom of their pizza experience needs. They can eat pizza off a plate or they can eat it while sitting on the curb, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the taste.

Premium dishes with unique ingredient combinations make eating fun. And with so many dining choices around the block, executives need to find ways to separate their menu from others’. When people consider ordering pizza they often don’t have a preference; whichever delivers fastest, whichever is closest, and whichever has the best recipes will win the pizza war in the end.

Pizza Hut’s new initiative is far from revolutionary, but it’s necessary. And for other failing food chains in the red, Pizza Hut’s renaissance should act as an inspiration.

Top players should not have ‘Jackass’ injuries

November 23, 2014November 24, 2014 / Elliot Chan / Leave a comment

Prospect Connor McDavid’s injury proves that some players shouldn’t fight

By Elliot Chan, Opinions Editor
Formerly published in The Other Press. November 17, 2014

Emotions run high in a game of hockey, but when a valuable player goes down for an asinine play such as a meaningless fight, the team pays the price.

In the wake of Erie Otters’ star player, Connor McDavid’s hand injury—received in a fight against Bryson Cianfrone of the Mississauga Steelheads—the hockey community is once against putting the topic of fighting on the discussion table. The debate is not whether fighting is good or bad for the sport, but why do star players continue to risk injuries fighting? In McDavid’s defence, he is 17 years old and probably felt invincible. How could he not? He is touted as the most promising prospect since Sidney Crosby.

No doubt missing five to six weeks out of such a defining year in his career will leave him regretting his decision, perhaps leading him to think twice before dropping his gloves again.

It seems as though every year a top player gets injured. Last year, Steven Stamkos went out with a freak leg injury after crashing into the opposition’s net, and this year Taylor Hall is missing games due to a similar incident. John Tavares missed a portion of last season as well after a hit during the Sochi Olympics. And this year we already saw the absence of top forwards, including Zach Parise, Mike Cammalleri, T.J. Oshie, and Radim Vrbata. Injuries happen all the time and rarely does skill level factor in. Many would say that injuries in hockey are unavoidable.

Nevertheless, fights are always avoidable, especially if it involves an elite player like McDavid. The cause of the fight was because Cianfrone had allegedly slashed McDavid numerous times during the game, and out of frustration, the top prospect took matters into his own hands—thus injuring it. Hockey teams need to protect their star players. It doesn’t matter which league they’re in. If they want to win, they’ll need their best players.

Remember the overall effect of losing Crosby to a concussion? Fans want to see the grittiness of the game, but they also want to see the skills of the elite players. And any player that suffered an initial injury would tell you that the game never feels the same afterward; there is an instinctual need to be careful and stay safe.

For McDavid to injure himself in junior may not impact his draft standing, but in a sport where high impact is part of the game, he probably doesn’t want the label of damaged goods before his is selected either.

There will always be a target on the backs of the best players, and it’s up to the rest of the team to protect their top assets. There was a reason why Wayne Gretzky avoided fisticuffs at all cost. He didn’t need to fight; he had a big guy like Marty McSorley to protect him. The reason why there is still a place for enforcers in the game is because top players shouldn’t get injured fighting. As long as fighting remains, which in my opinion it should, then enforcers need to defend their goal scorers.

Sure, it was McDavid’s fault for getting into the fight and hurting himself, but the player who should feel the worst is the guy on the team assigned to protect him.